I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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