i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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