Screwed.edu
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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