i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
