i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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