just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
