I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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