mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
