pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
