Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
