So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
