I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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