I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
