Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
