Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
