Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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