Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
