Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
