Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
