Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
