So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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