oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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