I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
