just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
