shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
