Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize