Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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