five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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