I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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