So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
