I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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