Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
