you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
