ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
