I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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