so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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