Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
as a side note pls kill me
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
