Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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