PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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