I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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