So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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