Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
