Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
