i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
