the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
