You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
