I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
