oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
