i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
