Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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