I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
