since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up under a house in Key West
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