New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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