Tell her she can't have a vagina
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
